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Life Happened

somewhere between raising hell and amazing grace

Back to the grind

Wednesday, July 23

Mike went back to work today after a week off. I go back to work tomorrow. I've finished the laundry and even folded it, but can't bring myself to put it away. Vacation does that to me. Makes me tired.
We had a lot of fun this year. Spent more money than we had intended and I ate way too much and drank more than I had intended. I gained three pounds in exactly four days. That's not normal. It'll take me two weeks to rid myself of those. How is that fair? We tend to eat really late and then two hours later get a pizza and ice cream to snack on once we get back to the hotel. Not to mention the 400 miller lites I drank everyday...but let's not talk about that. I DID go biking one morning and we walked like 400 miles one day, I swear. For twenty five years I've been asking Mike for a tummy tuck. He always says no. The main reason being that I have to lose weight first. Which I agree with. But I always counter with, "Why should I lose weight unless I'm getting a tummy tuck?" I know that's stupid but I'm a child, you see. Anyhow, one night at the beach, as we were leaving to go out for the night, he just busted out with, "I'll get you a tummy tuck in two years." I don't know what two years had to do with anything really (when he retires? when i start working full-time? i've lost twenty and he finally sees the skinny in me?), but nonetheless I was thrilled. I think it was the vodka talking but he finally agreed and that's all I ever wanted really. Just an a-okay. Because now I really don't want one after I almost died from having four holes punched in me laparoscopically. I don't know if I could actually handle a giant slice around my ENTIRE abdomen. I don't think I'm as tough as I thought I was. I'll only go if I'm promised dilaudid and Dr. Rey. As an aside: I got a notice from Amazon that Wii Fits were in stock just two seconds ago. I went right away, since I'm sitting here, to order one. No go. It says they are already out of stock. Seriously. Anyhow, I find myself sitting here dreading the end of summer. We're out of vacations until next March. Even then? Not sure. Florida may be a thing of the past for various different reasons but the most important one being - my MIL is thinking of selling her condo. And we just can't do 6 nights and 7 days in Sarasota without a free place to stay. I am really not looking forward to this summer being over. I'll say it again. School starts in a month and that brings with it a whole new level of Crazy. I can't even throw down at the Buffett concert this year because I'll have school at 8am the next day. I'm gonna miss Davis' first day on the bus to Kindergarten too. What kind of mother does that? I think I might die right now contemplating it. While it's not the end of the world, I'm going to miss a lot of things where she is concerned that I didn't with Sydni. I used to be accessible and available. I really won't be at all this year and they'll be DAYCARE kids. Ugh. I know it's just in the mornings, but it makes me ill. My one saving grace is that my Mom will get her house by the end of August and then retire like September 1st. Except I know she won't. Let's get her in the house first, I suppose. I've already told her we cannot get by without a Labor Day weekend party. Let's hope were not having it at MY house!
If you want to view some of our VA Beach antics, visit Flickr. But you have to be family/friend to view the videos and most of the photos.

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Because I can't sleep

Tuesday, July 15

Tidbits from my hospital stay...
1) I was in SEVERE pain while waiting for my name to be called. I had been in SEVERE pain since 11pm the night before. Once back, it was around 4am. The nurse proceeds to take my vitals and ask the normal questions. Meanwhile, I'm writhing in pain and throwing up into a little blue barf bag. She tells me to go BACK out to the waiting room until someone calls me AGAIN. Fine, but is there anything you can do for the pain? She points to the name tag on her chest and says, without so much as a wince, "My name doesn't have M.D. after it." I'm dying so I don't say anything but vow to myself that I will write the hospital a letter when I'm through with all the dying. I knew I was grasping at straws and that she could not, in fact, order any medications herself. I simply thought that because my pain was a fucking 10 on her stupid happy face scale, she might throw me a bone and go ASK a doctor to help me a little more quickly.
2) Most of the nurses I saw during my five day stay were very nice. I thought the CNA's that came in every other minute to take vitals and so forth were a little nicer though. You see, I have this idea that all nurses should be as I am. They should WANT to help and be empathetic to what everyone in that damn hospital is going through. I realize that they are busy and can't chit chat because there are meds to push and i.v.'s beeping for miles around. But I seriously felt that at least one of those ladies wanted me to die. I think she wanted everyone to die. The CNA I had the night of my surgery wanted me to die too. I had to pee at 3am, just the time, she rolled in, so I thought I'd ask her for some help. The woman told me that I should do it on my own. She would not even give me a hand to sit up in bed. And if you've ever had surgery on your stomach, you will know what a pain in the ass that is. I made it to the bathroom, with no help from her, and I cried the whole time. On the other hand, there was a bright and shiny girl I had for the last two days that made my stay as nice as it could have been. She gave me Toradol, for gods sakes, even before my six hour window was over. That stuff is heaven...as long as you're not trying to sleep. But I digress. She was an LPN and made sure I was ambulating (she even had a little chart on the wall that she would check off), managing my pain, and drinking (even though I didn't want to). The night CNA for my last two nights was very nice as well. He was a talker, which I didn't mind because I always seemed to be up at 3am when he'd come in due to the Toradol. It's a great pain killer but it gave me wicked dreams and made me sweat like I'd just run a marathon. He would get me a wet, cold wash cloth and fan me with it before blotting all over my face and neck. Then we'd talk for ten minutes, he'd get me ice water and watch me drink my required amount and then he was off to another room.
3) When I was finally back in triage and they decided that I wasn't a crack ho looking for my next fix, the doctor ordered dilaudid for my pain and phenergan for my nausea and protonix for my extra acid. I'm sitting up in the bed and I'm asking her what she's giving me. She explains and then says, as she's pushing it through the i.v., "You might want to sit back sweetie." I didn't even have to ask why because INSTANTLY I was feeling much, much better. Mike says my eyes glazed over and I said, "Wow that stuff works really fassshht." And I was out like a light. Dilaudid and I became very good friends over the next five days. I had a pump on my i.v. that I could push every six minutes and it would give me like .02ml. Not a lot but it was enough to do the trick every six minutes. I'm surprised that more people don't come out of the hospital hooked on opiates. They sent me home with percocet and I swear, for three days, my body wanted the dilaudid back. I'm okay now though. Out of pills and out of luck, thanks for asking.
4) I was NPO for the first two days, clears the third and fourth, and on the last day they finally let me eat. My surgeon, who came by once a day, decided that I should be passing gas on the fourth day. That's the main reason he didn't let me go home that day (my temp was high, my BP was low, my K+ was low and my O2 sat was low on top of the gas issues). How can I pass anything when there was NOTHING in me for four damn days? I was so mad that I couldn't leave and I was SO damn lonely and feeling sorry for myself, that I threw my ice water across the room. I felt bad afterwards because I saw my nice CNA guy clean it up later that night.
5) The first thing I remember when I came to was lying half naked on the operating table and telling anyone who would listen that I had to pee really bad. I can remember someone saying, "If you can lift your bottom you can use the bedpan. If not I'm gonna have to insert a foley." Now anyone else probably wouldn't have known what a foley was. It was a stupid thing to say. But anyways, needless to say, I peed right there in front of like 25 people, it seemed like, right on the operating table. I did not care. They'd been pumping me full of fluids for two days straight and I was peeing between 600-800ml every four hours. Later on I remember hearing someone saying, "She's already peed A LOT so she can go back to her room!"

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Grudge

Monday, July 14

The other day at work I got into a heated argument with a new guy. A new guy who was seemingly very nice and very quiet beforehand. I'd barely said a word to him. I was doing him a favor and sometimes things don't come out quite the way they're supposed to and then he screamed at me and blatantly accused me of something that I did not do and had no control over. How's that for descriptive. Anyhow, don't yell at me and not expect me to yell back. The South Arlington came right out of me and he didn't have a chance. I've been there for 5 1/2 years and I know how things work and how things SHOULD work. He got a firm talking to from the boss (he was wrong and he started it - nyah!) and now we completely ignore each other. Which doesn't bother me in the least. Usually I'm willing to let bygones be bygones but not this time. I'm holding a grudge. Sometimes it seems as if he wants to talk to me (he told the manager he would apologize to me but hasn't) but I just walk past him and flip my hair. I know I'm being childish but I get along with everyone at work. Even people I've been angry with before I've talked it out with them and we get over it. This was just uncalled for and RUDE! It'll be a cold day in hell before I talk to him again. Like I told my boss - I was here long before he was and I'll be here long after he's gone too. Blah!
In other news - our water leak is finally fixed. Thank god we had that coverage. The plumber (when he finally showed up) said that it would've cost us about $3100 if we just called him out on our own. BUY THE EXTRA COVERAGE PEOPLE. Even if you think you'll never need it. Like me.
My two infected holes are still open and achy. The other two slices are closed and healing nicely. The good news is that they aren't leaking pus anymore! Nice, huh? Sydni says they look smaller, like they're healing. Although I can't see any difference. I'm supposed to go back in tomorrow for a check-up but I just don't feel the need. I know that's bad but seriously, this doctor thing is old. I'll be happy if I never have to see another doctor in my life. Or his BILLS!
We're off to VA Beach this weekend. We'll be eating pb&j the whole time but were eager to get the hell out of here. I STILL won't be able to get in the water so I just might die from heat exhaustion too. The kids are looking forward to late night pizza runs and sno-cones on the boardwalk. We're not staying on the boardwalk this time though. Forgot to mention that little part to them. We're on the beach but past the boardwalk. It's a first for us. We'll see how it goes.

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Blah

Wednesday, July 9

So today is two weeks since the surgery. I was feeling good until one of my holes started leaking gross stuff the night before last. When I was at the doctors office the nurse pulled off another bandage and that one was gross too. I'm back on antibiotics and with two open wounds, literally, on my stomach, I just don't feel good today. It doesn't help that it's raining outside either. I feel like I just need to get out of here but there's no where to go. The girls have been begging for a haircut but I really don't have the strength for that today. I'm supposed to go back to work tomorrow after two weeks off. I can't decide if I'm ready or not now.
As if we need more complication in our lives...yesterday we discovered that we have a leak somewhere in our main water line. In between the street and the house. It was a whole thing, believe me. But then Mike reminded me that we pay for a couple of optional services that Dominion offers each month on our electricity bill. One of them happens to be water line replacement service. Something I thought we'd never use and reluctantly signed up for at Mike's request. It's like $4.50 a month and we bought it three years ago, I think. We called yesterday and they are sending someone out to fix it today. Literally, 24 hours after we called. Up to $4,000 we DON'T have to pay because we have this service. ThankgodIlistensometimes!

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